When I heard, I called my wife.
“I have bad news.”
“Biden’s running again?”
“Worse. They’re discontinuing Choco Tacos.”
It took a moment for her to recover. Then she asked, “Why?”
Some corporate financial move by Unilever, the world’s biggest soap maker, which owns Klondike, which makes Choco Tacos.
“Apparently, Choco Tacos aren’t profitable, so they’re getting the ax. How is that even possible?” I said. “Figures, a soap company scrubbing its portfolio of one of their best things.”
There was silence.
“Well,” she said, “you only have them once a year. So they never made any money on you.”
“We only eat turkey once a year,” I said, “and the meat packing industry isn’t discontinuing turkeys. And what about candy canes? Nobody eats them outside of Christmas, and they’re back on trees by the millions every year,” I said.
No, it’s not my fault, even though it’s true I indulge in Choco Tacos once a year, which is each August while vacationing in Wildwood, the best Shore town in New Jersey. I discovered the peanut and chocolate topped ice cream treat, held in a taco shaped waffle cone, more than 20 years ago. The Fudgy Wudgy man rolled by with his push cart on a particularly beautiful day on the beach, and I was hungry. I’d never had one. It was love at first bite.
The key to its deliciousness is that unlike a regular ice cream cone, in which you have to devour the ice cream before you get to the best part — the ice cream filled cone — the Choco Taco delivers cone and all from practically the first bite to last. It’s genius.
For years, my Choco Taco habit has remained the same. Dozing in my beach chair, suddenly roused by the